The Enthusiastic Old Bore.

I was in the ‘Tea Lounge’ onboard ship the other day and some distance away, too far to hear, was an old man was talking excitedly to two young captive passengers, he was sitting forward in his chair and was regaling them with long detailed accounts of his experiences complete with enthusiastic hand and arm gestures, every now and again he would run out of breath when he would lean back in his bucket chair elbows resting on the side, hands clasped together in front of his chest, like a priest in contemplation, until he got his breath back then he would re-launch into his account of his “extremely interesting facts.”

However, at this a particularly exciting part of the continuing very long saga, as his arms are waving about like man on a sinking boat trying to attract the attention of the coast guard.  The lady of the captive couple started to keel over to starboard with a glazed look of ‘near death by boredom’ spreading across her face.

The old boy sensing her disinterest, moved further forward in his chair and directs all his attention towards the husband, he who has sensed his Wife’s impending demise grasps her hand tightly and shakes it and tries to wake her from the coma in which she is quickly sinking.

The husband, panicking now, is planning to scoop up his Wife in his loving arms and race off to the safety of their cabin; the next time the old man took a breath, two minutes later the young passenger seized the opportunity and made a successful break for it.

This left the old man coughing and spluttering; now he has the task of laying in wait for the next innocent couple who see the empty chairs and ask if they are free, not knowing what they are letting themselves in for!  He is sat on the right hand side near the third large window, smiling benignly waiting.

The old man’s long suffering Wife, is sat next to him still knitting, ignoring the events unfolding around her; she sits in blissful silence having mercifully gone deaf many years before.


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